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Presidentially Speaking

I was intrigued when George Bush said that winning the election by a few percentage points constituted a "mandate." If a speaker got only a 51% audience approval, it would be considered a colossal flop by any standard. Trust me, no one would be beating a path to your door except to ask for a refund.

As engaged as I was in the issues of the presidential campaign, I could not help but look at it from the perspective of speaking competence. Up until Kerry's concession speech, I was rooting for my side but emotionally distant from both candidates. Bush was trying on a new persona each time he debated. Kerry was removed from his own passions while he responded to what the polls said people wanted.

Watching Edwards and Kerry concede, however, I found myself in tears. When John Kerry said. he would like to reach out and wrap his arms around everyone he had met across our country, his passion and caring were palpable. I've heard more than one Republican say of those few shining moments of speaking excellence that ended the campaign, "If I'd seen that part of Kerry earlier, I'd have voted for him." A dear friend who recognized the difference in how Kerry showed up at the end asked me how people with his background — and hers, which held similar messages about what is appropriate — could transcend old beliefs about proper public expression requiring distance from one's emotions. For many, speaking from the heart is a far away dream, as life can seem to require that we edit and rehearse to the point we don't even know our own deepest passions.

I once was told that speaking from one's heart is not the way to win in politics and perhaps the response to Kerry's concession speech will put that one to rest. When Al Gore was running for president, one of my colleagues in Nashville, a long-time politico, was coaching Gore on his speaking. I said I'd love to get him into Real Speaking. "What would you do?" my friend asked. I responded, "I'd get him to the core of what he loves about our country and speak from a place of passion about what really matters to him. I bet he'd win. "My friend laughed and shook his head, "Gail, you're so naïve."

Naïve, perhaps. But I believe that the world — and our own worlds — will change in a positive way only when we seek first of all to be true to who we really are and what we hold most dear. From the Velveteen Rabbit to Hamlet, their respective messages go to the heart of what it means to be real. Remember Rabbit asking the Skin Horse "What is REAL?" The Skin Horse replied, "It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." He goes on to say that once you're Real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.

If you prefer your philosophy with more somber undertones, try Shakespeare: "This above all: to thine own self be true, — he exhorts. "And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

So what are the lessons to be learned from the presidential campaign for those of us who speak to influence others - whether to vote, to care, to do business with us, or to make a positive change?

1. Know what you really believe and be willing to be both passionate and compassionate about it. It has been said, "No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care."
2. Let the election results inform you that great polarity exists about basic beliefs and values. This split is likely to be reflected in your audience unless you're preaching to the choir. If it's not the choir, preaching makes them dig in deeper. Only honest inquiry based on your own experience can be heard.
3. Speak what you believe, not what is expedient. Whether or not you believed in what Bush had to say, he believed it. And that came across as believable.
4. Match your expression to your words. Laura Bush told her husband he shouldn't scowl, and he began smiling even when he spoke of war and 9-11. Not a pretty sight.
5. Stand for your own vision. When an artist creates, it isn't to solve a problem. What would it look like to move beyond the constraints of the status quo or the polls and draw a whole new picture that others could see and embrace? Rumi says, "You heard my story and your spirit grew wings." An empowering story that gives wings to our spirits is the one we long to hear. For example, what if Kerry had spoken passionately about stewardship of our sacred earth, an issue that goes to the heart for many of us and for which he is has been a consistently strong advocate?
6. Remember that what you resist gets bigger because of the energy that is created from opposition. Just like politics, our brains are both right and left, and when we give energy to one position, the other responds. It is summed up in the absurd expression, "fighting for peace." If we speak from our hearts, however, there is no division.
7. Be what you believe, don't just talk about it. If Kerry had shown his true caring throughout the campaign, how might the outcome have been different?

Most of all, know that who you are and what you do and say matters. Change begins within and it is important to speak with courage, compassion and respect to create the world to which we want to belong.

© Gail Larsen November 2004